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Okay, the Choke Me like bundy eat Me like Dahmer shirt and I love this best part of this movie is seeing the fake trailer Cameron Diaz is working on for an action movie starring Lindsay Lohan and James Franco. Also: Her sardonic work friends are John Krasinski and a very pregnant Kathryn Hahn. (Marry me, Kathryn!)

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Cameron Diaz mentions that single women over 35 are “more likely to be killed by terrorists than get married,” which a) show me the Choke Me like bundy eat Me like Dahmer shirt and I love this data, and b) please stop talking. She freaks out about her declining marriageability and gives herself a Christmas vacation, which…is federally mandated time off, but okay!